Daughter of a Malfoy Chapter 5.3

As soon as December started, I found myself anticipating the Winter Break much more eagerly than I ever had before. The past three months had been the most stressful, homework-oriented days of my entire schooling career, to the point that I actually had to skip Hogsmeade visits to read for classes. I really needed a break from my textbooks, from the countless essays, from everything that took more than an ounce of brainpower.

But before that could happen, at the end of the first Transfiguration class of the month, Professor Gamble reminded me and my fellow fifth-years about something even more anxiety-inducing than anything else we had to face this year: career consultations.

“Oh, come now,” she chided, putting her hands on her hips. “You shouldn’t be groaning at me! You get to skip class for this, you know! And your decision— if you make one— most certainly isn’t final. This is just a little one-on-one meeting with me about your interests, so that we can set up some goals for you to work toward in your N.E.W.T. level classes after this year.”

“If we survive this year,” Darren joked as he leaned back in his chair. This was met with nervous giggles from the rest of the class.

Professor Gamble rolled her eyes at him. “Believe me, students say that every year, and nobody has died from it yet. But that’s beside the point; over the next couple of weeks, the other Heads of House and I will lighten your workloads so you can focus on finding your interests before your consultations. Everyone’s consultation has already been scheduled, and you can find the times posted on your respective Head’s office door and on your House Announcements boards.”

Just as she finished speaking, the bell rang and everyone got up at once. The Ravenclaws all made a beeline for Professor Gamble’s office, pocket calendars at the ready, to mark our consultation times. At the front of the group, Louis read the times out loud: “Oh, apparently I’m first… Monday the seventeenth, at nine a.m.” He took a moment to write it down. “Okay, next is Alex, again on the seventeenth, at eleven a.m. Got that, Alex? Good. Then it’s Laura…”

“Looks like it’s alphabetical by last name,” Onyx murmured unevenly to me.

I nodded. “That means I’m going right after you.”

“Yeah…”

Sure enough, they gave me my consultation time— Wednesday the nineteenth, at eleven a.m.— just after Onyx’s time. I marked the appointment on my calendar, making a note that I would be missing part of Arithmancy for it. I hope I won’t miss anything too important, I thought. I’m only just getting the hang of trigonometry!


***


A week later, I sat next to Onyx at lunch, after a particularly interesting Divination lesson that had been tailored to relate to consultations in the following week. We had been asked to look into our crystal balls and try to see our future careers. Unfortunately, the crystal ball at my table refused to show anything except smoke, but a few of my classmates said they saw something in theirs. Nevertheless, the lesson made me think even more about what I wanted to do. I asked Onyx, “Have you got any idea what you’re going to do in the future?”

At first, Onyx gave no response. He did not even look at me. But then he took a deep breath and touched my hand. “I dunno.”

I should not have been bothered by his reply— really, it was okay to not know— but for some reason I felt a shiver run up my back. Through his touch, I felt a fear that did not belong to me: an unexplainable foreboding, a feeling of impending danger. Was this what Onyx was feeling right now? Why? There was no reason for him to feel this scared of his consultation, or of anything. I was so shaken that I felt sick. I clutched his hand.

He finally turned to look at me, eyes full of worry. “Are you okay?”

The look he gave me made me want to cry; he was worried about me, when it was I who was worried about him. “Are you?”

Onyx looked away again and did not say anything. After a few moments he asked quietly, “You done eating?”

“Oh—” I was surprised by the question. “Y-yes.”

He stood up, holding my hand firmly in his. “Come with me.”

“O-okay…” I got up too, quickly grabbing my bookbag from under the table before letting him lead me swiftly from the Great Hall and up several flights of stairs. On the sixth floor, he took me into an empty classroom and closed the door behind us. At this point I was so terrified of what might happen next that I could not move anymore.

For a while we just stared at each other as the dust in the air glittered in the sunlight.

I finally opened my mouth to speak, but at that moment he rushed at me. I flinched from surprise, only to feel his arms wrapped tightly around me. “Onyx? What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shaking all over. “The truth is I’m terrified.”

“Why?”

He hesitated, but then said, “I... I don’t know if I can say.”

“Then why…?” I stopped. Why did he bring me here?

“I saw something during Divination today.” He loosened his hold on me so he could look directly at me. “But it wasn’t my future.”

Without asking, I knew whose future he saw. “You saw me?”

He nodded. “I don’t know why, but what I saw…” He trailed off.

“Please tell me,” I begged, feeling my eyes well up with tears, “you’re scaring me!”

“No, don’t cry!” He wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “I promise, I won’t let it happen! That’s the thing about Divination; what you see is only a possible future.”

“But… Isn’t what you see also the most likely future?” A few more drops fell from my eyes, but their paths were interrupted again by Onyx’s gentle thumb. “I don’t know what you saw… but how are you supposed to prevent it from happening when the odds are against me?”

A pained expression flashed across his face, and then settled into determination. “I swear I won’t let it happen. No matter what, I’ll protect you.”

Protect me? I felt my face contort into a sob. Just what did he—?

Onyx pulled me into another strong hug and I lost my control. I gave in to the sobs that had built up inside me. I clung to his shirtfront, burying my face into it. I felt him plant a kiss on the top of my head and whisper into my hair, “I promise.”


***


Much sooner than I would have hoped, the week of consultations was upon us, and I felt completely unprepared. Of course, I had an idea of what I wanted to do after leaving Hogwarts, but how was I supposed to tell Professor Gamble about it? It felt like what I had scheduled was actually a confession, not a plan for the future. I was so nervous, and my anxiety built up more and more with every time one of my classmates had to leave class for their consultation.

On top of that, Onyx’s premonition still weighed heavily on my mind.

Just as he had promised, Onyx stayed near me when he could. He still refused to tell me what he had seen, but whatever it was, he seemed to assume full responsibility for my ‘safety’. The only exception would be today, when he had to go to his consultation. After breakfast, he kissed my cheek before leaving for Professor Gamble’s office. “Try not to let yourself be alone, okay?”

I nodded, protecting myself from the creeping fear of the unknown by repeating silently in my head, It might not happen. Onyx could be mistaken. I watched him walk away.

From behind me, Junie tapped my shoulder. “Hey, Cindy. What’s going on with you and Onyx?”

“Huh?” I felt the blood rush to my head, bringing the memories of last week’s fright with it. “N-nothing!”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Sure, just like there’s nothing between us.” He touched Junie’s shoulder.

“What?! No, we’re not like that!” My ears turned hot at the very idea.

Junie looked confused. “Then why hasn’t he willingly left your side in the past week? And why does he keep looking at you like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like—” Craig stopped himself.

Junie finished his thought: “Like he wants to hold on to you forever and never let you go.”

I did not know what to say. How was I supposed to tell them? It was already silly that Onyx believed what he saw, and that it haunted me like this.

“And that kiss just now,” Junie continued. “Friends don’t do that.”

“It was on the cheek,” I corrected her, “and he’s done it before.”

“Yeah?” Craig stopped me and touched my face. “What if I did it?” He came closer, but I dodged him. “Exactly. It’s weird if a friend tries to kiss your cheek.”

I turned away from them and walked a bit faster. “That’s different; you don’t do stuff like that.”

“Okay,” he said, catching up to me, “but at least tell us what’s going on, if you’re not dating.”

“Ask Onyx. He’s the one acting differently. I’m just letting him.” With that, I left them and went downstairs for Orchestra.

I knew that this was the wrong thing to say because there were too many ways to interpret it. But I truly did not know how to tell them. I was certain that if I even tried, the fear would get to me and I would be reduced to tears again. I just hope that I’m not really in danger.

All through Orchestra, I was too distracted to play my violin properly. My mind was racing, switching back and forth between my consultation in less than a couple of hours and Onyx. Of course, Dad noticed and kept me after class to ask what was wrong.

After a brief moment of deliberation, I decided to tell him that Onyx was worried about my safety. “He told me he saw something in his crystal ball during Divination. He won’t say what he saw, but it was bad enough that he promised to stay by me to protect me from it.”

Dad surprised me by smiling. “Cindy, has it occurred to you that maybe this boy made this up to get your attention? You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you’re talented. And you’re at that age when boys would do anything to go out with you.”

“Dad!” I was completely appalled. “I don’t want to hear stuff like that from you! Ugh…” I almost turned away to leave, but I could not leave him thinking like that. “He seemed pretty serious to me. He was shaking all over when he told me.”

“Okay, okay.” Dad kissed my forehead. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

I wanted to completely reject this offer, but in the back of my mind I wanted Dad’s help. Isn’t that why I decided to tell him? “He isn’t one of your students, but if you can figure out how to find him… I guess…” I shrugged. “If you want to. But please don’t go in there with the assumption that he wants to go out with me, okay?”

He chuckled. “I’ll try.”

“Thanks.” I checked the clock on his classroom wall. “I have to go to my career consultation soon. Bye!”

“Good luck, Cindy!”

I left the room to put my violin away, and then made my way up to Professor Gamble’s office. I had plenty of time— twenty minutes, actually— so I took my time. For some of that time, I wondered how Dad could have been available to conduct Orchestra when he was supposed to have been doing his own consultations with the Slytherins, but then I remembered that there were fewer of them than there were Ravenclaws in my year. Few enough, in fact, that he could have finished doing his consultations with them already, after only two days.

I reached my destination and knocked on the door.

Professor Gamble opened the door and smiled. “Cindy! You’re just like your parents: always just early enough to be on time. Come on in!”

I had no idea what she meant by that, but a compliment was a compliment. I entered her office and sat in the cushioned chair she offered for me, at a small table. She took a seat across from me, with a clipboard in her hand.

“Let’s get right to it, shall we?” She pulled out a pen. “Do you have any ideas for what you would like to do after you graduate?”

“Er, yes.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking… and this might sound crazy, but… I’d like to go to university. A muggle university.”

“Oh, really?” She started to write on her clipboard. “That isn’t crazy at all, dear; plenty of witches and wizards have gone to universities after completing their education here. In fact, the number of Hogwarts graduates going on to muggle post-secondary institutions is on the rise. So what led you to this decision?”

I shrugged. “Well, I went to a muggle primary school before I came here. I learned how to control my magic there, even without a wand. I had lots of muggle friends there too. They’re just like us, really, only without wands. But my main reason is that I want to learn about lots of things, some that aren’t offered here.”

“Oh? Anything in particular?”

“Science, literature, math, muggle history… and psychology.” I looked away from her when I said the last part, feeling that this stood out against the rest.

She wrote faster on her clipboard. “Goodness, you are definitely a girl of many interests! I believe muggles would say you are a renaissance girl.” She added. “I believe that refers to the period in history when muggles experienced many advances in arts and sciences.”

I nodded. “It’s also when the International Statute of Secrecy was written, because of the witch trials. I think I remember reading in my History of Magic book that during the Renaissance period, if muggles could not understand something, they suspected witchcraft. The smarter muggle inventors usually had been apprenticed to wizarding craftsmen.” I felt that I had said too much, and shrunk into my chair. “Yeah, I like to learn about this sort of stuff.”

“You should never be ashamed of that,” Professor Gamble encouraged me. “Ravenclaw values lifelong learners. I think you are making the right choice to go to university after Hogwarts.”

“Really?”

“Really.” She smiled at me. “Now, let’s switch gears and set up some goals for you to work toward. Obviously, you’ll want to take N.E.W.T. level Muggle Studies, and I recommend you take History of Magic as well, just to be safe. Arithmancy will help you with the math classes you’ll take in university— you’ll need an Outstanding in that class to move on to N.E.W.T. level… Astronomy almost completely overlaps with the muggle version of the class, so you might want to take that too… are there any other classes that you’d like to take in your N.E.W.T. years?”

I was confused by the question. “Er… all of them?”

She sighed and looked directly at me. “I understand what you’re thinking, Cindy. Really, I do; as a rule, Ravenclaw students do not like to drop classes between fifth and sixth years. But it is my job to remind you of the workload required to do that. You need to score at least an Exceeds Expectations in each class to move on to N.E.W.T. level, with the exception of Arithmancy, which requires an Outstanding as I said before.” She looked at her clipboard again. “You will be taking eleven O.W.L. exams this year. Now, I have to say this to all of my students: it is unlikely that you will score high enough in all eleven of those exams, and if you do, you should expect an even larger workload than you have this year. So, just for the sake of asking, are there any classes that you might consider not taking next year?”

I thought for a while. “You said I should take History of Magic,” I said slowly, “but… that’s the one I’m most likely to fail. Sorry, but Professor Binns is so boring! So is the textbook, honestly.”

Professor Gamble laughed and wrote on the clipboard. “I can sympathize! Binns has been doing his thing for longer than anyone has been alive. If you can’t take it, then you can’t; it probably won’t hurt you. I only suggested it because it might have some overlap with muggle history, but probably not, since he likes to focus on goblins and giants and trolls. Any others?”

“Er… I might also quit Divination, but…” given the recent events, I might not want to. “I mean, I haven’t been successful with crystal balls yet, but I hear interesting things from my classmates. But I guess that doesn’t matter if I don’t pass, which I probably won’t. I’m only good at dream interpretations.”

“That’s about the only useful part of Divination anyway,” she muttered as she took notes on her clipboard. “You should have no problem dropping that class. Most wizards don’t believe in the credibility of Divination, so Goodness knows that muggles must have written it off as a medieval scam.” She dotted an ‘i’ and then asked, “Is that it?”

“I think so…”

“Okay then!” She grabbed a box of brochures from the floor next to her and set it on the table. She rifled through the stacks until she pulled out a few brochures and handed them to me. “This one is about careers in muggle relations and muggle customs, this one contains a list of universities with wizard administrators that can help you if you need magical guidance and subjects you can focus on for each, and this one talks about what you’ll need to study by yourself before you enter the muggle world. Madam Pince can help you find the books you need for self-study.”

I made a face at the mention of Madam Pince; she still did not trust me, and I had no idea why. “Thanks, Professor.”

“Don’t mention it! Is there anything else you’d like to ask me about before you go?”

I thought for a moment, but came up with nothing. “Sorry, I’m not good at asking questions.”

“No problem.” She closed the box of brochures and put it back on the floor, and I took this as my cue to leave. “Have a nice break,” she called after me.

I turned around at the door and smiled back at her. “You too, Professor!”